welcome to a bee's life
kinda poopy tho

random AUs for your otp


  • met at a charity kissing booth au
  • sex shop employee and slightly flustered customer au
  • highschool party au with spin the bottle
  • neighbours au where person A goes over to person B to tell B to ‘stop singing karaoke it’s 2am’
  • met in a line for a roller-coaster au (bonus: one of them is scared shitless)
  • 'you were the only one at the party who understood my movie reference' au
  • lifeguard/swimmer or lifeguards au


Hajin Bae



I cannot handle a lot of things.

Whether it be because I simply do not know how to react, or whether it is out of fear or joy or who knows what else.

These strange things called ‘feelings’.

I don’t know how to contain the warmness that fills me.
I don’t know how to keep the smile off my face.
I don’t know how to hold in the glow out of my eyes.

I cannot handle them.

In all the nineteen years of my life, I have become more accustomed to handling
the feelings of negativity that bear down on my shoulders like I have mountains of depression carved between my shoulder blades.
I’ve gotten so used to hiding that away behind a mask I paint on with stuff that hopefully doesn’t make my face look as though you’ve pulled the skin of an olive and plastered it onto a fleshed out skull.
I’ve become so well practised at shouldering these burdens down the lonely road of life, hiding them away from a world that would only look upon such pitiful woes and worries of a teenager with scorn and indiscretion.

But now, that world I knew has been shattered,
and there is so much I do not know.

I didn’t know friends could be people who didn’t use you for your money or your smarts or because you simply talked to people as people rather than a badge behind a desk for some papers.
I didn’t know that a string of digital code strung so tightly together to form words sent from a land across the sea could make me smile.
I didn’t know that there was a whole world outside the ones I had found on pages in musty old books, or ones that I had formed in my head.
I didn’t know how much courage I needed to get there.

But here I am, lost in this wide world of brightness and joy,
and for the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know how to stop the feelings from making my heart swell.
I don’t know how to reign in my voice from calling out to you.
I don’t know how to deal with the fact that the world is simultaneously so cripplingly terrifying that it could lock me back in the toxic cage I’d kept myself trapped in, and so astoundingly, curiously wonderful that I feel like that kid walking into a candy store for the first time and realizing that there was so much more than a Hersey or a licorice stick.

So I have just this one thing that I have to ask, one thing that I need your help with while I’m still figuring out what to do with myself on this new set of rails off into the future.

Help me get used to happiness.

Help me get a handle on this new life.

pros and cons of being friends with me



  • puns
  • free baked goods
  • honest opinions
  • i laugh at everything
  • you’re always the attractive friend
  • i never sleep so i’m always up to talk
  • i don’t judge


  • puns
  • mental instability
  • everything i say is annoying
  • i repeat myself a lot
  • i’m an anxious piece of trash
  • i sing a lot
  • i say so many self depreciating things it’s pathetic
  • mood swings
  • i hardly go out

(Source: ghostukulele)

tags → #truth 

Zodiac Expression of Nerves

♈ Aries: Hyperactivity, headaches, impulsivity, recklessness, hostility, frustration, confrontation, restlessness, rapid speech, over thinking, displays of vulnerability and need for reassurance, inability to complete minor tasks
♉ Taurus: Reservation; they will dissociate into their own worlds and be untouchable, binge eating, compulsivity (cleaning, organizing, hand washing), silence; anxiety will come in waves for Taurus and be sustained for a long period, sore throat, 'blank' mindedness
♊ Gemini: Giggling, restlessness, rapid speech, talkativeness, tremors, hyperactivity, distractibility, racing thoughts, insomnia, inability to stay focused on and complete even minor tasks, loud and more talkative inner monologue, chest/lung discomfort
♋ Cancer: Teariness, catastrophized thinking, imagination worst case scenarios, inability to stop distressing thoughts and inner monologue, drifting off/inability to focus, food cravings, isolation but co-current feelings of neediness and reassurance, stomach cramps and nausea
♌ Leo: Frustration, hostility, catastrophizing (imagining and living worst case scenarios) martyrdom, impulsivity, binge eating/drinking, they tend to go out of their way to help and do things for other people/keep busy in service, back pain, somatic troubles
♍ Virgo: Digestive upset, restlessness, repetitive movements (hair twirling, counting) tremor, rapid thinking, withdrawal into isolated 'bubble', compulsive tasks (cleaning, organizing), need to keep busy and distracted may pace back and forth
♎ Libra: Unusual quietness, increased needs for re assurance, stomach upset, restlessness, distractibility, insomnia, negative inner monologue, catastrophized imagination, repetitive hand motions, inability to explain themselves or say they are unwell
♏ Scorpio: Increased need for control, hostility, violent frustration (wall kicking, throwing objects), irrationality, increased obsessiveness - they may spend hours and hours focused on one task almost manically, rejection of others though frustration they are not 'there', flashbacks
♐ Sagittarius: Increased vocal volume, higher impulsivity, hostility, hyperactivity - they are liable to go out running or try to repress it physically, substance use, rapid thoughts, recklessness, giggling, distractible, back pain
♑ Capricorn: Tension, overwhelming feelings of butterflies and nerves inside especially in their stomachs although they remain composed externally. Over thinking and inability to distract themselves from worst case scenario, hostility, isolation, tendency to take on more work shifts or responsibilities
♒ Aquarius: Talkativeness, rapid speech, over thinking, restlessness, insomnia, confusion; Aquarians will feel anxious or nervous yet have little insight into why they feel this way or what is causing it, their minds and emotional responses are not connected, back pain
♓ Pisces: Teariness, catastrophized thinking, inability to distract or change thought patterns, flashbacks, hysteria, chest discomfort, digestive upset/nausea, irrationality, distressing inner monologue, substance use, increased need for assurance




September, 2014 || Pt 3nd

September 1st, 2014
I got an email from my university about a test I was certain I’d failed.
I didn’t tell my parents I worried.
I haven’t for years.

September 4th, 2014
I spent the whole day feelings sick, knowing I had to get cortisol steroids pumped into the swelling of my heel bone.
I told my mother she couldn’t come with me. She’d make me more nervous.
I didn’t cry, despite the flares of pain shot with sterilized needles.

September 6th, 2014
I went to my great aunt’s house for dinner, for a well wishing to devoted travellers in pursuit of religious guidance. My brother left early, my father with him. 
How I didn’t expect my normalcy to be destroyed.

September 6th, 9:57PM
My home was robbed. All the memories, the history and promises passed down through gold are gone. Though I was untouched, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of hands tracing over every feature, every crack in the amour beyond repair that I refuse to remove.
I don’t cry.
I don’t sleep.

September 7th, 11:10AM
The police have finally come and gone. The back door isn’t a gaping hole surrounded by shattered glass and spilled milk. I can see the floor in my room, but I won’t touch my clothes. They veel more violated than I do.
It’s my brother’s 15th birthday, but no-one is celebrating.

September 10th, 2014
I finally slept today. I dreamt of nothing.
There was no peace in this sleep.

September 15th, 2014
I had the test I meant to study for, but couldn’t. I told my friends why and watched the pity fill their faces like spilled milk over blank pages.

I went home.

The police returned, telling us our home was secure.
So why didn’t I feel safe living in it?

Why, after living here for over ten years, did my room feel unsafe? My haven, my retreat, my cell was no longer protecting me. Why, after all this time, couldn’t I breathe in here

September 18th, 2014
A late night urge pedaled my feet outdoors. The air was cold, and almost seemed to have a scent all of its own. A light caught my eyes and lifted my head.

And I saw stars.

I got lost in them. I let myself get lost in them. Though the sounds of suburbia weren’t distant to my ears, it was the gems of intergalactic proportions that held my breath in a gridlock of constellations. Perhaps the tears that unknowingly rolled down my cheeks reflected the glittering, as though the realization that I felt more safe with the stars in the cool darkness somehow was beautiful.

But I was safe, in a small part of time that the world stopped, and I was the only one in it. It was beautiful. It was priceless.

And I breathed.

reap what you sew

Milk Princess Smegma Drinking Hentai Addict (=゚ω゚)ノ: my boobs hurt
[SOS] Bee: see
[SOS] Bee: too much nipple casting
Milk Princess Smegma Drinking Hentai Addict (=゚ω゚)ノ: FUCK
チーズケーキ + 濃厚ベイクドチーズ
濃厚レアチーズ + 5種のチーズを使ったケーキ




the police are attacking muslims in their homes in the middle of the night, arresting women in their beds, men in the morning, attacing and humiliating us all

life is getting scary here for the muslims 

I didn’t believe this but here are some sources

Summary: Apparently they were trying to find local ISIS supporters and foil an alleged plot to carry out what PM Tony Abbot called “demonstration killings” to show that ISIS isn’t just located in the Middle East. They claim to have intelligence that informed this decision to raid. The raids were carried in 12 suburbs and involved around 900 police officers. They arrested 15 people during the raids, but have only released the details of one prisoner who had direct contact with the Australian Muslim who they know is an active recruiter for ISIS. 

To me this sounds like an incredibly overblown response to an issue that could’ve been solved by one arrest. Please keep in mind that the Washington Post, the last source, is more conservative. Since these raids have happen, protests have erupted all over Australia and the Muslim Australian community is understandably fucking pissed. Don’t let this go unnoticed.